Monday, August 25, 2003
My head is spinning so fast on its axis that I feel as though I am coked up. Man, I have been running around the office today as though I am on a SPEED high. The day has flown by, but damn, I’m actually TIRED from working so hard today.
So many things to talk about…
First things first…
My visit with Ahmad went wonderfully. At first he was really upset and angry with me. I gave him about an hour to tell me how I hurt him, destroyed his faith in love, and ruined the trust that we had worked so hard to build. When he was finished, I explained my side of the scenario and apologized for hurting his feelings. At the end I gave him the option to either pursue a friendship with me or to cut me off entirely. He decided to keep our friendship. After a couple of hours at the bar, I took him back to my apartment so that we could smoke and chill. I thought that it would be the true test to see if we really could be just friends. It worked out fine. When Ahmad was leaving he told me “If you ever feel as though you want to try things out with ‘us’ again, let me know.” “But Ahmad, you are dating someone already.” “Yes, but he’s not you.” I kissed him on the cheek and he left. It will take us time, but I am sure that if I handle this relationship maturely, I very well may make friends with someone that I have hooked up with previously. It’s never happened before, but this time I am determined.
SO…there is this girl and her name is Shy Lux. Turns out that Lux and I went to high school together. Also turns out that she did the high school choir and musical and graduated a year after me. It is IMPOSSIBLE for Lux and I to not know each other. I mean, I was in choir for all 4 years of high school and I just about ate, shat, lived, and breathed the high school theater department. I am positive that we were friends in school. I know it. But…I still don’t know who she is. I have put my detective hat on with this mystery and I am bound and determined to figure out who she is. Ooh…the suspense is killing me. Lux…if we figure out who each other are…we have to promise to keep total anonymity. Promise? Promise with your whole heart?
Paul and I had an incredible dinner on Saturday night. He took me to one of the places he works at and everyone treated us like GOLD! We were served just about every entrée and appetizer they offered and all for free. Everyone wanted to meet me and I felt as though I was a mini-celebrity. The food was SO GOOD! I had crab cakes and lobster salad and calamari and oysters and filet mignon and champagne and french fries, and my God there was so much more. My stomach was completely distended from all of the food I shoved into my mouth. I kept making Paul poke me in the belly cuz I was totally pregnant.
Paul treated me so well, paid for everything, and we laughed and snuggled all night long. I wasn’t going to tell him about Ahmad as I thought that it would be inviting an argument. Yet, as Saturday night’s dinner progressed, I found the right opportunity and threw the information into our conversation. His face fell when I first brought it up, but I promised him that Ahmad and I are fully over and that I am overjoyed with how well his and my relationship is going. He kissed me on the lips and I knew that all was well.
My brother is fine! Of COURSE he’s fine. God is taking such good care of him. He called us all on Saturday morning, just in time for my parents to salvage some semblance of their weekend. He was on the firing range when the fatality occurred, but he said that he is okay and that he is dealing with it, just like he is dealing with everything else that’s fucked up there. He is making me so proud that I can’t even put it into words. My brother, the solider. Weird.
I am going to the Pocono’s for Labor Day weekend with my best friends from college. There are 5 girls and ME! Baby Joe. Everything’s all planned and as I get closer to Friday, I get more and more excited. It is the only time of the year that we are all together and it is non-stop hilarity and fun. For some reason, our 6 drastically different personalities blend so well. Man, it will be a weekend to remember.
Off to stay the night at Paul’s apartment. Now that things are going so well with us, I actually get EXCITED to spend the evening with him. He makes me laugh so hard.
And that’s that!
So many things to talk about…
First things first…
My visit with Ahmad went wonderfully. At first he was really upset and angry with me. I gave him about an hour to tell me how I hurt him, destroyed his faith in love, and ruined the trust that we had worked so hard to build. When he was finished, I explained my side of the scenario and apologized for hurting his feelings. At the end I gave him the option to either pursue a friendship with me or to cut me off entirely. He decided to keep our friendship. After a couple of hours at the bar, I took him back to my apartment so that we could smoke and chill. I thought that it would be the true test to see if we really could be just friends. It worked out fine. When Ahmad was leaving he told me “If you ever feel as though you want to try things out with ‘us’ again, let me know.” “But Ahmad, you are dating someone already.” “Yes, but he’s not you.” I kissed him on the cheek and he left. It will take us time, but I am sure that if I handle this relationship maturely, I very well may make friends with someone that I have hooked up with previously. It’s never happened before, but this time I am determined.
SO…there is this girl and her name is Shy Lux. Turns out that Lux and I went to high school together. Also turns out that she did the high school choir and musical and graduated a year after me. It is IMPOSSIBLE for Lux and I to not know each other. I mean, I was in choir for all 4 years of high school and I just about ate, shat, lived, and breathed the high school theater department. I am positive that we were friends in school. I know it. But…I still don’t know who she is. I have put my detective hat on with this mystery and I am bound and determined to figure out who she is. Ooh…the suspense is killing me. Lux…if we figure out who each other are…we have to promise to keep total anonymity. Promise? Promise with your whole heart?
Paul and I had an incredible dinner on Saturday night. He took me to one of the places he works at and everyone treated us like GOLD! We were served just about every entrée and appetizer they offered and all for free. Everyone wanted to meet me and I felt as though I was a mini-celebrity. The food was SO GOOD! I had crab cakes and lobster salad and calamari and oysters and filet mignon and champagne and french fries, and my God there was so much more. My stomach was completely distended from all of the food I shoved into my mouth. I kept making Paul poke me in the belly cuz I was totally pregnant.
Paul treated me so well, paid for everything, and we laughed and snuggled all night long. I wasn’t going to tell him about Ahmad as I thought that it would be inviting an argument. Yet, as Saturday night’s dinner progressed, I found the right opportunity and threw the information into our conversation. His face fell when I first brought it up, but I promised him that Ahmad and I are fully over and that I am overjoyed with how well his and my relationship is going. He kissed me on the lips and I knew that all was well.
My brother is fine! Of COURSE he’s fine. God is taking such good care of him. He called us all on Saturday morning, just in time for my parents to salvage some semblance of their weekend. He was on the firing range when the fatality occurred, but he said that he is okay and that he is dealing with it, just like he is dealing with everything else that’s fucked up there. He is making me so proud that I can’t even put it into words. My brother, the solider. Weird.
I am going to the Pocono’s for Labor Day weekend with my best friends from college. There are 5 girls and ME! Baby Joe. Everything’s all planned and as I get closer to Friday, I get more and more excited. It is the only time of the year that we are all together and it is non-stop hilarity and fun. For some reason, our 6 drastically different personalities blend so well. Man, it will be a weekend to remember.
Off to stay the night at Paul’s apartment. Now that things are going so well with us, I actually get EXCITED to spend the evening with him. He makes me laugh so hard.
And that’s that!
